


Equal Parts Heaven And Hell (Squashed Into A Yellow Bug)

by LicieOIC



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: ChippedBug, Cute, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Humor, Road Trips, Rumbelle - Freeform, Sassy, Sexy, Swan Queen - Freeform, but nothing happens, for the swen/rumbeller bromance, rated M for some mature insinuations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:17:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5141162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LicieOIC/pseuds/LicieOIC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Especially for the Swen/Rumbellers bromance - Rumbelle and Swan Queen go on a road trip. It's not the destination that's important, it's the journey. Rumple wanted to drive, but he lost the coin toss. Cue a sass-fest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equal Parts Heaven And Hell (Squashed Into A Yellow Bug)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post - http://licieoic.tumblr.com/post/132486621239/emospritelet-charmedrumbelle-emospritelet  
> If anyone would like to adopt this little drabble and give it a real plot and a real destination (and real smut), be my guest!

Rumplestiltskin shifted his weight for about the fiftieth time, trying to get comfortable in the backseat of Emma’s yellow Volkswagen bug. He was definitely regretting agreeing to a (non-magic) coin toss to decide who was going to drive. It made such little sense to cram Emma, himself, Belle, and Regina into such a tiny vehicle. His Cadillac would have provided ample room for all and, more importantly, his cramped leg.

His shifting bumped Regina’s seat (again) and she scowled over her shoulder, though she couldn’t get a good look at his face from that angle. “Good thing you’re not any taller, Rumple, or you might hit your head whenever we go over a speedbump.”

He opened his mouth to give a witty retort right back, but Emma, surprisingly, beat him to it.

“Was that a crack about the size of my car?” the blonde asked, her eyes still on the road.

Regina offered the Savior a smile, the kind of smile that suggested butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. “What?” she said, sweetly. “Why would I do that? You know how much I _love_ your little death trap.”

Belle stifled a giggle against Rumple’s shoulder.

Emma glanced at Regina with slightly narrowed eyes before returning her attention to the road. “There is _nothing_ wrong with my car.”

“Of course not,” said Belle, ever the peace-maker, a job she was taking very seriously if they all wanted to reach their intended destination unscathed by anything but a little repartee. She smiled up at her husband, wrapping her arms a little tighter around one of his. “Besides, little cars are perfect for snuggling.”

 _Oh..._ Yes, those were _definitely_ Belle’s breasts pressed up against his arm. Rumple’s eyes deepened to liquid chocolate as he watched Belle’s tongue drag across her full bottom lip. With a smirk, he chased after it with his own. She smiled against his lips, teasing him with little touches of her tongue to his, making him crave more. The little minx knew exactly what she was doing.

Crossing his other arm over his body, he settled his free hand on her knee, slowly dancing the fingers upward and beneath her skirt to see if she was wearing any underwear beneath it. Perhaps there was a benefit he hadn’t thought of to not being the driver.

Belle must have made some kind of sound (or perhaps he had), because suddenly Regina’s head whipped back around, her dark eyes much too knowing. “Hey! Hands where I can see them, Golds!”

With a huff, Rumple sat back in his seat, both of his hands (sadly) resting in his lap (and masking the slight tenting situation there). Belle pouted slightly, but waved her hands to show they were still just around Rumple’s arm and not anywhere... more interesting.

“Don’t be acting all jealous, dearie,” he snarked to the former evil queen. “Just because _you_ can’t fondle the driver.”

“You _want_ us to swerve all over the road? Because I don’t. I _care_ about our safety,” Regina answered, almost primly. “It’ll be a miracle as it is if we reach the hotel in one piece...”

“Hey! Do you want me to turn this car around?” asked Emma. “Because I will do it. I will turn this bug right the hell around if that’s what you want.”

 _“Yes,”_ said Rumple, “then we can take MY car.” But his argument petered out when he felt one of Belle’s hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck, soothing him like nothing else could.

“Poor Rumple,” she murmured, loving sympathy in her eyes. “Are you really that uncomfortable?”

He leaned in close, his breath rushing warmly against her ear, “In more ways than one.”

Belle bit her lip, her cheeks flushing a pretty pink. “Don’t worry, I came prepared.”

Rumple blinked, his eyes going wide. “Belle! We can’t--!” He glanced up. Emma’s shrewd green eyes were watching them in the rearview mirror, an eyebrow delicately lifted, telling him more than words could what she would do if they didn’t keep their bodily fluids to themselves inside her car. He felt his face heat and he ducked his head, whispering to Belle, “Not in front of _them_...”

It was Belle’s turn to blink, then she burst out laughing. “Oh, my love!” she said, her eyes sparkling as she smiled. “Not ‘prepared’ for _that_. I can’t believe you thought--” She smothered another set of giggles in his shoulder.

Rumple said nothing and just counted his lucky stars that Regina was currently busy tapping something out on her phone. She never would let him live this moment down.

“Well, what _did_ you mean?” he asked, finally.

Belle reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an orange pill bottle. He recognized it as one of his as guessed it to be his heavy duty pain meds. A little cooler sat on the floor of the car at her feet, squished against her legs, and he gave a little sigh as she reached into it and pulled out a bottle of water for him to take the pills with.

“You think of everything, love,” he said, giving her another little kiss on the lips.

“Apparently not _everything_ ,” muttered Regina. With a final tap on her phone screen, she confirmed switching Belle and Rumple’s room at the hotel from a single king size bed to two twin beds. If she couldn’t do any fondling _now_ , she was going to make damn sure that Rumple wouldn’t be able to do any fondling _later_.

**Author's Note:**

> Rumple gets his unwitting revenge once his pain pills kick in and he starts singing along (LOUDLY) to the oldies on the radio. Regina ends up with an earworm that lasts the whole trip.


End file.
